I don't cry often--anymore. I even thought I was all cried out, but today my heart ached and my eyes filled with tears threatening to spill onto my cheeks. It was the loud denigrating hate hurled from the occupants of a passing truck that finally brought out my emotion. "God hates all of you!" and the rest I couldn't understand but I can imagine what it was. When the truck went by a trans woman was telling her story of growing up, coming out, of transitioning, and of losing friends and family who couldn't accept her for who she is.
If you want to see bravery up close then get to know someone in the queer community and especially someone who is Transgender. But only if you are brave too, because you will hear stories that will require you set aside your preconceived notions of what gender means. It may break your heart in two to listen to someone describe being born into the wrong body and knowing at a very young age, as young as two and three even that you see yourself as the opposite gender assigned to you, that while your body says one thing, inside you are someone else.
So back to today. I was at a demonstration for Trans visibility at the county courthouse in Logan, Utah. Lately the Transgender community has taken some big hits from the current administration. And in Utah, at the last general conference of the religion that most grew up in, some less than compassionate things were said. Like many of you, not too long ago, I didn't know anyone personally who was Trans. But now I do. And now that I do, I can say with some knowledge that I don't know a more loving and brave people. Every day is a day facing discrimination and misunderstanding. Every day it takes courage just to step out the door and be themselves.
Right after the hateful words were shouted by the passerby, Pastor Derek of the First Presbyterian Church in Logan spoke. Pastor Derek is a kind and charismatic man. But it wasn't just his charisma that spoke to my heart. He spoke of the hater who had sped by and how much he lied because God is a God of love and his love is for every single person no matter what their sexual identity. He spoke about Jesus and how he served the marginalized. He told of his own love for everyone gathered there and for the Trans individuals. He brought a healers touch to what had been a peaceful and loving demonstration before the angry hate-filled words tore through the congregation. His healing words were of God. See, when someone tells you that God hates_______ fill in the blank, they really mean they hate ______. I don't know a lot, but I know that when love fills my heart, that is the best kind of feeling, not judginess, or pettiness, or bitterness and so on. God doesn't hate people. That's a big lie. And if you believe God hates you, you're wrong. We give God all kinds of human emotions, but if there is a God, they are much bigger than all our humanity and weakness.
I was always taught growing up that I would feel the power of God in my heart. Well today, I heard God's truth. I heard it directly from several Transgender individuals and I heard it from Pastor Derek. God is Love. I'm just a bit better today for taking a little time out of my week to get to know people, to really see them, to see their hearts and to just understand that we really don't have any right to define who people are. So soldier on and just be you.
